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Friday, January 28, 2005

Poker Hand Nicknames strip poker dealers

Poker Hand Nicknames
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One problem with poker hand nicknames though is they sometimes become obsolete. Take the case of three tens, TTT. One nickname for this three of a kind is "thirty miles of bad road", which is often shortened to "thirty miles." Many years ago this thirty miles notion led to the hand getting its most famous nickname: "Gilroy to San Jose." Unfortunately, these days San Jose has sprawled all the way up to the Gilroy city limits! Even if it means we can apparently travel thirty miles in one step, I guess we have to keep the nickname. More puzzling though is another, more obscure nickname for TTT: "Woodbine to Corbin." One would assume the genesis of this nickname is the same as Gilroy to San Jose, but take a look at a map. Woodbine is about five miles from Corbin! I guess that's why the nickname hasn't caught on.

While a few full poker hands have nicknames like "the dead man's hand" of Aces and Eights, two card Texas Hold'em hands tends to lend itself more to nicknames. I suppose this is because there are fewer card combinations than in Omaha for example, where only rare birds like AK47 (A-kay-forty-seven) can get nicknamed. However, in Omaha an entire branch of hands are classified as "double-scheckies" due to the incomparable Bob Scheckman's penchant for falling in love with any bit of double-suited shit that came his way. In any case, here are a few Texas Holdem starting hand nicknames that have stood the test of time.AA Rockets; Bullets; American AirlinesKK CowboysQQ Canadian Rockets; Canadian Aces; Siegfried & RoyJJ Fishhooks; hooks88 Snowmen; Doggie Balls77 Sunset Strip66 Route 6655 Presto; Speed Limit44 Canadian Presto33 Crabs22 Ducks

AK Big SlickAQ Big Chick; Walking Back to HoustonKQsuited MarriageKQoffsuit Mixed MarriageKJ KojakK9 Fido; What a DogK3 Commander Crab; King CrabQ7 Computer handQ3 Gay Waiter (queen with a tray) J5 Motown; Jackson FiveT8 Golden DanT5 F&W Woolworth's; Five and DimeT4 Broderick Crawford; Convoy; Good BuddyT2 Texas Dolly98 Oldsmobile96 Big Lick; Dinner for Two95 Dolly Parton92 Montana Banana83 Most feared hand in Holdem7T Split76 Union OilThen there is the case of J4. First named after John "Austin Squatty" Jenkins due to his penchant for raising and reraising with this hand of "hidden value", the hand later also became known as "Kid Grenade" after a poker dealer who when he played was "liable to go off at any moment". He once told me the hand's true nickname should be "Full Employment" because "If you play J4, you'll always have a day job."